Gloria Agaran

Organ Recipient

1953 — 2004

What I remember is her love for us and her grandchildren. I have a son and my second brother has three sons. She treated her neices and nephews as if they were her own. She always showed love towards her sister, brother and parents. She loved to travel, and the outdoors, especially when we went out for picnics on the side of the beaches. Her favorite spot was in Hawaii Kai. She told me how she sacrificed for my two borthers and my dad by not seeing them for long periods of time. She would be in the states while my two brothers and my dad was in the Phillipines. Ofcourse she would visit, but it was so limited. She worked three jobs at a time just to provide for them. My auntie told me of more details of how she sacrifice. She would always cry every minute of the hour cause she missed them so much. But what gets me is the love that she had for her grandsons, sometimes when my three nephews didn't visit for two weeks due to the fact that they live so far away that she would miss them a lot. I remember her passing that night I was awaken by my dad's crying, I never heard or saw him cry before. I came out of my room I saw my older brother crying too, and I said, "What's wrong?" My dad said, "Your mom isn't going to make it the doctor told me to come home and start calling family members." I cried. I didn't know what to do. I prayed and wished on a star, my husband was there to comfort me while my son was sound asleep on the bed. I went to bed and cried myself to sleep. After that morning my brother woke me up saying, "Mom is dieing we have to go now." As we rode to the hospital we both cried. He said, "We cannot fight anymore we have to stick to each other okay?" I said, "okay." I walked into the ICU room and I broke down crying holding her so tight shouting, "Wake up mom, wake up I'm here please don't go please!" My husband and my son arrived a short time later and said to my son, "Kiss mama she's sleeping." Family members came to say thier goodbye's. My dad asked for a preist earlier in the day, but no one came. He then asked again for a preist later that night. It was just me, my older brother and my dad at her bedside with all the tubed in her. Everybody else went back home to rest. As the preist said, "Amen," my mom's heart rate was going down slowly, and we looked on I said, "No! you cannot leave me I don't know what I'm going to do, I have nobody to talk to.!" I cried, and cried. As my dad held her stroking her head and sobbing frantically he said, "You were just waiting for the preist so you can go." And then my brother called my other brother to hurry to the hospital, and then my husband came in after buying dinner for us which none of had an appetite. I dropped out of college to take responsability for the funeral arrangements, the program and the thank you notes, and the catering. I stood by my dad through everything, he needed me the most by him and I can see it through him that he needed me. He asked for me to go with him to plan everything. Till this day it is hard, when ever I go to the school and couslers asked to why I have withdrew from my classes so I can reinstate my finacial aid, they have no clue and it's painful for me to explain it. Some even thought I wasn't taking school seriously till they found out why I had to do what I did. And then they ask for a death certificate, (proof of her death) and what date, what illness and I give out the impression that I didn't want to talk about it, and they get the message between the lines. Now here's a poem I wrote: My Sweet Mother

Your smile I'll always remember, the food
That you cook I still can taste, your
Essence still lingers, and that smile you
Put on still brighten up my face. My tears
Fall from my eyes every time I think of you
And that's every day. I stood by you till
They took you away, while I laid my head to
Rest on your hand. As we prayed for you to
Fight, and said,"Amen"you left. We knew
Then you were just waiting for guidance to
Go back home to our Father up above Jesus. So many regrets, so little time, so many 'What if's', so many tears, but I know I
Will see you again and talk to you, just to
Hear your voice and just to see you face to
Face I wait patiently. I know you are here
Watching over us from heaven. The things you
Said, "I want to see my grandsons graduate
From high school," that you will watch from
Heaven and that's the best seats you got
Mom! I love you and this is for you
Everything has been for you!
The memory I like to remember is when we would go out shopping the whole day after when we're both tired we would go eat, and when we were laughing so hard I looked at her and said, "Mom eventhough we argue we know we love eachother" and she said, "I know my love." And we hugged. My mother was on the waiting list of an organ donor, I myself had been an organ donor for 4 years. Doctors have told us she had to wait for 2 years and eventhough it was an emergency that she needed one right away she couldn't receive a transplant because of others that was before her pm the list and also that she had an ifection in her abdomen which the doctors couldn't find. I am trying my best to join many organizations and help with people who had the same problems my mother had or in need of a transplant, but no one has contacted me yet. I hope and pray in the future no one have to endure this kind of pain, I hope there will be more hope for people.( She was survived by her Husband, her daugther, two sons, Three grandsons, son In-law and daughter In-law, her two sisters, Father, and brother.)